They made DLC for my GOAT (A Difficult Game About Climbing)
We’re back, y’all. Um, there’s DLC for a difficult game about climbing. Does anyone know how to how to get to it? Does anyone know? Maybe I should turn my volume down just a touch. You go up and then to the right. You go up and to the right. There’s a sign in the water. You saying there’s something in the water? Oh. Kendrick was right. Something in the water, man. Like this way. I don’t know. Grab the pipe. Can’t be done. Sorry. I can’t be done. Maybe the hardest part of the DLC raid here. Okay. Okay. We take these. It’s so crazy to me people would rather play whatever you want. It’s crazy to me that there’s individuals on planet Earth that would rather watch somebody play Hollow Knight than watch someone play this. But that’s whatever, man. You’ve been waiting a long time for Silk Song. I shouldn’t shouldn’t be punching down. How funny would it be? Ah, it wouldn’t be that. It’d be tragic. But it would be funny if they delayed it at the last minute tomorrow. But whatever. Probably not. Get a little. You got to carry wood. Carry wood. Carry wood. Carry wood. Okay. Hold. How do you know Carrie Wood? Uh, one of the best pitchers in World Series baseball 2003 on the Xbox until he irreparably ruined his shoulder, I think. [Music] Woo! That’s true. They have carry wood, carry underwood, but they don’t have a carry overwood yet. Maybe maybe like a next America’s Got Talent, they can work on that one. Ready? Watch this. Whoop. Maybe you got to get a little You got 20 strikeouts in one game. Now that that’s a good number, man, cuz there’s only 27 outs in a game. So to strike out 27 people, that’s that’s pretty amazing. Other teams should try doing that, I tell you. Is it too loud, by the way? Is it too loud? Maybe more with extra innings. If you end up going to extra innings and you’ve pitched nine innings, you should be allowed to use a baseball bat to hit a member of your uh offense cuz that’s insane. If you pitched a complete game and went to extra innings, you should be allowed to break your uh DH’s knee with an aluminum baseball bat. I’m not saying it’s never happened, but aluminum ass. Dude, all the all the dads at school were talking about starting F1 next year, too. Fantasy, not not the real sport, but the fantasy version of it. Fantasy F1. So, now I got to I got to pretend to be an F1 head. I was already I was hitting them with stuff like, “Yeah, I used to watch, but back when I watched it was just like, “What’s the point? Mercedes wins every race.” And they were like, “Buddy, you might want to sit down.” You know how like um the silver team won every race. That one year you watched F1. Well, there was like a few years where like the red team, not that red team, but the other red team won like every race. And now the orange team wins every race. And I’m like, damn, this is kind of crazy, man. Things change. Old also feel like I I had to ask them, too, and it it made me look like a a nephew, but that’s okay cuz I’m I’m used to being an so sometimes to to be a nephew is okay. I was like, isn’t it easy? Like if you um hang on, huge. If you uh draft first, don’t you just take like the best guy or the best constructor and you’re guaranteed to win the league? And they were like, “No, dude. There’s like a budget system, so you have like a a salary cap and you can only fill up your salary cap with like a few drivers, like five drivers and two constructors or something like that. I was like, “Oh, write that down. Write that down.” When does the F1 season start? Like May. Whoa, guys. I let go. That’s my bad. March. You guys are You’re giving me aura cuz I said, “When does the season start?” March. And then one of the dads said, “I’m pretty sure Australia is in May. Oh, really? Oh, my chat says, bro. Hold. Australia’s third now. They’re changing everything up, man. What’s first now? It used to be Australia, Bahrain. China now bar rains first now I’ve heard everything real original hold Japan’s actually in the fourth position now that’s actually huge for a guy like me who never made it to uh Japan in the F1 video games because it’s after Monaco. Every F1 video game, I would play the season up till Monaco and then on Monaco be like, “Fuck this.” And then restart a career or never play the game ever again. Hold. Put all the dads in a ring. Only one gets out. Is it you? Nah. No shot. No shot. We We got some mixed martial artists in the in the group. I’m probably I I think I I probably settle somewhere around the median if I had to guess. Might be able to stage an upset and get into like the upper quartile or something like that. Who dies first? I don’t really feel comfortable speculating on that. That’s these are real real people in my life. I don’t hate you for asking the question. I’m just I’m just saying. Yeah. Okay. Hold. Hold. Whose kid is the strongest? Now that’s real, man. There’s one girl in my daughter’s class that’s like at least 3 in taller than all the other girls. And what? Like my pet theory? Well, my my real belief is that she’s just really tall. My conspiracy theory is that they fudged her birth year by one year and now they’re hoping nobody notices. So, she’s in with the 2020s, but actually she might be born in 2019 and they were like, “Let’s hold her for a year until like everything lines up nicely.” Plus, cuz then she’ll be captain of the basketball team, you know, captain. Who knows? Maybe she’s going to be she’s going to be ahead of the curve. scammer. It’s so sick when you look up uh it doesn’t even have to be like a person that lived in ancient history. There’s people that were born in like the the late 19th century where they don’t know their age. That’s so funny, man. Like there’s there’s living people there, less of them these days, but there’s like living people that are like I don’t exactly know how old I am. That’s that’s funny, man. Okay, hold. My grandma’s like dead. It’s got to be wild to like not know your age, man. Can’t they test to figure it out? What are they going to do? Cut them open and count the rings? I saw my I saw my moment and I took it. Carbon dating. Oh, you believe that [ __ ] Okay. Confused conspiracy theorists be like, “Humans and dinosaurs live together 65 million years ago.” Wait, that might just be like 5% of people. Guy guy who thinks the world is 7 billion years old, but people have only been on the earth for 65 million years. I don’t know if this makes any sense, man. Hold. Hold. Okay. And we’re supposed to drop here. Thoughts on Kawhi Leonard having a no-show job? You okay? Honestly, this is once again the the media is trying to sell you a narrative. You think there’s anything wrong with a guy getting paid uh $7 million a year for a nonprofit that’s owned by the same team or the same guy that owns the sports team he plays on and there’s no record of him having done anything for that company. You think there’s something You think there’s something wrong I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, man. That just seems like normal. I mean, if you’re Kawaii, you take that deal any any day of the week. He saved Canadian basketball. He’s good. That’s true. He’s still He’s still a hero as far as I’m concerned. guy who doesn’t watch basketball. Ah, dude. You know what the best part of usually like a long weekend is good. Don’t get me wrong, but sometimes the long weekend causes you like the Tuesday feels like a Monday, right? And that pisses you off. You’re like, “What the [ __ ] I thought it was Monday today. I thought it was Monday today. All my [ __ ] all my Monday [ __ ] I should have done it yesterday.” But the long weekend like sending [ __ ] into the future accidentally goes crazy this week because yesterday I was like, “Oh [ __ ] three days till football.” But now I’m like, “No, man. One day till football. I already tanked the extra day that I thought I was going to have to to live through. Hold. I did not hold. Football started two weeks ago. Um, yeah. Not if you’re a football started two weeks ago and Manchester United fans already wish it was over. Am I right, dude? They’re having some problems. They’re not. They miss Sir Alex Ferguson. I hear I hear that they miss Sir Alex Ferguson. Didn’t they lose to like um Glenn Howton’s team or whatever? Pathetic. I think they meant college. RIP Alabama. It has to feel so like do you think that the Florida State quarterback had the greatest Sunday of any human being on planet Earth? Dude said now that there’s no Nick Sabin, I don’t think there’s anybody that can stop me. and then [ __ ] proved it. I bet he was feeling like the dude from the rap battle reaction gif. He went nuts on the table, but I’m not a rapper. Manchester United lost to Grimby Town. That is That’s really funny. It’s always funny when a big team loses to a team named some [ __ ] like Grimby Town. That’s why soccer is sick, man. And I’m going to call it soccer cuz I got to be patriotic. But like they the biggest upset that can happen in the NHL is like, “Hey, did you see the San Jose Sharks like beat the Rangers last night? How did that happen?” Well, it happened cuz like the teams are like 20% different in terms of their overall quality and they play 82 games a year. So like, you know, some goofy stuff happens from time to time. But a oneofone game like between the South Park kids and the Colorado Avalanche would go insane, man. That’s true. 84 games. My bad, y’all. My bad. Grimby’s in the fourth tier. What a coincidence. Manchester United fans just shed their fourth tier and they’ve only played three matches so far this year. Am I right? And they’re missing Sir Alex Ferguson. They’re missing him. They’re missing Dennis Berg Camp. They’re missing him a lot. They’re missing David Beckham and Real Ferdinand. And they’re missing they’re missing Paul Scholes and uh and other players that they’ve had. They’re missing Chicherito. Many people are saying that they they haven’t been the same since Chicherito left. Who’s the other guy? Patrice Evra. They’re missing Patrice Evra. How do you know ball? I watched uh the Premier League season when Wayne Rooney had hair transplants. I’m not even making a joke. That’s just the easiest way for you to know what season it was. It was the first year he had hair transplants. dude. I got to make this jump. That’s crazy. That’s not even close, man. That was like 2011. That checks out, honestly. You think you go to the right? I don’t know, man. Or maybe maybe that’s like a grab. That’s a desperation grab from the future. It could be. Yeah, you’re right. Huge. That I I could have been there for days. People came to my chat saying, “You look like some old [ __ ] What’s up?” Okay, it was not some old [ __ ] is Marcel Dion, who until this last decade was the third highest point uh career point total in NHL history and perhaps the highest having never won a Stanley Cup. Um and the picture I can’t pull it up cuz I’m indisposed right now. The picture of Marcel Dion in Pucku looks so much like you if you dyed your hair with shoe polish. I can I can give you the keys. Go to puckdoku puckdoku.com or whatever. The bottom right is Los Angeles Kings who are in the hockey hall of fame. Type Marcel Dion M A R C E L space D I O N E. Marcel Dion and then tell me you don’t see a It’s hard when it’s you, but tell me you don’t look a little bit like him. My response was you look a lot like Ed Nordon in American History X and have a lot of the same opinions. So you ba you basically called me a white supremacist because I said you look like a guy who’s a professional athlete. Your your counteratt attack when I said you look like a guy who works out for a living is yeah well Ryan looks like a white supremacist and not even looks like you basically said Ryan is a white supremacist. That seems a little bit unprovoked all things considered. I googled the guy and he looked horrific. I hope it would I hope he didn’t Google like Marcel Deion 2025. I think he might be like six years deceased, man. Just go Marcel Deion like 1979 or something like that. He just looks like a guy. Also, I take it as a compliment. Yeah, cuz Ed Nordon is kind of he’s a little snatched in American History X. Now, I don’t want the tattoos, but is kind of like my goal physique minus the tattoo. minus the tattoos. That’s kind of my goal physique. This is what I saw. How am I supposed to click on that, bro? I got Hey, let me let me see what’s going on here. Let me see what you got here. That is okay. In my defense, Justin, that picture of Marcel Deion looks like you age 73 or something like that. Like that looks you might look like that and that would be fine. That’s what he looks good for a 73 year old man. But then look at what he looked like in like 1978 or something. This is what NL said you look like. Yeah. Yeah. Click on this puckdoku.com faces Dion Dion Ma one. Tell me you don’t see it a little bit, man. Just a little bit. Outside air is so bad, Kate. It’s a [ __ ] hot box out there. It sucks. You don’t see it at all. That’s cuz it’s you, man. So why don’t why don’t you take that? Okay, here’s here’s what I’m going to do. Copy image. Okay. And I’m going to go I’m going to go into our Discord and I’m going to say, “Does this picture remind you guys of anyone?” And I’m going to ping Corey. And I’m going to ping Apollo. And I’m going to ping Shinvicta. And I’m going to ping Mouth. And let’s just see. Let’s just see. I’m not I’m not putting my my finger on the scale at all. I’m not going to at Chibi because Chibi’s sleeping. I think it’s still But at as of November, I think this will be like 7 a.m. Chibi time. So, I could at Chibi if this happened in November. And by the way, I don’t know why people are taking offense to this. This is not It’s not rude to say he looks like a guy. This guy was probably He was a professional athlete, man. He was probably killing it in the 70s. It’s not rude. His nose is five times my nose. The nose is big. I’ll give you that. The nose is big. You don’t have a nose like that. But if you if you shrink the nose, if you could get Grock to shrink the nose by 35%. Your nose is kind of big. My nose is [ __ ] huge. Anytime I see a picture of myself, I’m like, when the [ __ ] did my nose get that big? It wasn’t like that in high school, man. But I guess your nose kind of just keeps going, right? Hold. It’s not huge. Oh, really? I kind of dig it though, to be honest with you. I think I think it’s You know that uh older American actor who looks like Sam Eagle from the Muppets? I think it’s like it’s distinguished, man. Why did Dan type Why did Dan type pregnancy in chat? No, Dan pinned a someone who said pregnancy. Oh sh hold wrong pin. Hold. Don’t hold. There’s nothing to hold on to. Misclick, y’all. John Slatterie. No, no, no. He played um he played, this is an insane sentence, he played um an angel investor who used to be an advisor to Richard Nixon in the Amanda Safeled Disney Plus miniseries, The Dropout, about Elizabeth Holmes. Can somebody look up that guy? and tell me his name. He’s got he’s got the most distinguished nose in um in Hollywood. It’s not P booth, but he’s he’s up there, too. Sam Watston. That sounds right to me. San W Elizabeth Holmes. Han Solo be like, “Wait, Elizabeth Holmes, Princess Leia be like, I love you.” Han Solo, Sunny, the chief financial officer of Theronos, be like, “I know.” You know what I’m talking about? You guys ever see the text that came out between Elizabeth Holmes and her her boyfriend from Theronos? What? Librarian, can you pull that one up? It’s been a while. The te the text that she sent was like, “You are the sun and my stars. I said my everything I do in life, I use you as my guiding light.” And then he replies, “Okay, hang on. I’m This is what it’s all about, man. This is peak streaming. Here it is. the Al Jazzer link. Let me see. Wait, give me a second here. Wait, she says she’s sending ditto to him. Missing you in every breath and in every cell. Holmes, ditto. My family, my family sends love and prayers and you have prayers of thousands of thousands of people. You have several. You have served Holmes. Ditto. Oh man. I know what you are thinking and going through. Control your thoughts and don’t let fear control you. Breathe in and every hour be conscious of your breath and breathe out fear. I love this. Like that. She replies, I love this. That’s so [ __ ] good. Holy [ __ ] That’s funny, man. But then she she he does that to her at some point, too, which is even funnier for some reason. Um cuz she’s like she sends him a message that’s like basically like, “I would die if you didn’t exist. I can’t live without you.” And he replies, “Okay, no emoji or nothing, man.” Which is insane. You ever send messages like this to your wife? No, man. Every I you husband tech, you ever get an Oh, Jesus Christ. You ever get a notification? Immediately, hit it with a react. The react is like a It’s a married read receipt. hit it with a it doesn’t have to be a thumbs up react, but it could be a uh maybe a heart. It could be I don’t know any anything just to just to know that they that you’ve seen it. I love you, Holmes responded. Okay. Entire flight was feeling really really bad and sad for last night. I’m really sorry. Barwan Balwani replied followed by a second text. I need to change my life and I will. All this they had all this drama over a The product didn’t even work, man. Product didn’t work. You are the breeze. Wait, wait, hang on, hang on. You are the breeze in the desert for me. My water and ocean meant to be only together. Tiger Balwani replies, “Okay, that’s so good. That’s the one, man. That’s the one. and he replies, “Okay.” And then they played the first thing that came to their heads just so happened to be. Anyway, this is not the fakest thing in the world. No, this is just a tribute. Do the old people in your life always add uh ellipses after their text? Yes. Now, this is uh sacrilege. You should not be doing that. Uh and it stresses out I’m just going to say it cuz we’re like the median generation now. It stresses out um it stresses out millennials aka normal people. Sorry, I got distracted for a second there. I do that and I’m 23. Well, I imagine your ellipses are different cuz the ellipse that you get from like your 62-year-old mom via text is like, “We need to talk dot dot dot.” That’s really bad. If you’re 23 and you send people a text that says like, “Do you hate me?” dot dot dot. That’s funny. That’s humorous. There’s a there’s a you know, you got to evaluate on a evaluate it on a case- by case basis. Like I don’t know if if the older generation realizes that if you send a text on a Monday that says, “Hope you had a good weekend dot dot dot to the millennial mind.” It’s like you’re sending a message that said, “You didn’t send me a text this weekend. You don’t care about me, do you?” Like that’s basically what the what it looks like. Yeah. It’s like, “Hope you had a good weekend cuz mine sucked and it’s your fault.” Now, what’s the millennial texting annoyance? I hear that it’s adding LOL at the end of every text that I send, but I’m going to keep sending it anyway cuz I don’t really care what Gen Z thinks about my texting to be honest. If they got a problem with it, I don’t know. Get in line. We’re going to be working together for a while hopefully. got to learn how to how to how to handle each other. We got to, you know, we got to fill each other’s gaps. Do you use K? Uh, if I’m writing the word pancake, I try to, but you can’t reply to a message with a with a capital or a lowercase K unless you have cause to be like, cuz just sending one K is basically like, I’ll do it, but I hate you. You’ve been asked to do something. you’ve been asked to pick up something from the grocery store and you’re like, “I’m only doing this cuz we’re like, you know, the vow says I have to do it.” What you have to do is lie and be like, “Sure, I’d love to.” Even if the store that you’re being asked to pick up the thing from is right next to the store that you were just at and you’ve you’re now at a different store that’s like across town, you got to be like, “Yeah, no problem.” And then just drive back and tank it. But it’s kind of nice cuz when you drive back, you get to listen to whatever music you want in the car if it’s just you. There is that. Oh, you’re you’re a genius. Feet first, man. Feet first. Is it ever just you? Oh no, Carrie Wood. Not Not often these days. Not often. Ma, basically on the drive back from school when I I can I can listen to maybe a couple songs. Maybe maybe Cherab Rock. That’s the play. Not even close. Oh my god. Oh my god. What music are you listening to your daughter can’t listen to? I don’t know if you know, and this is not um it’s not meant to be a knock on you, but these days the kids are driving the bus. It’s not like, “Oh, I want to listen to my music.” It’s, “But I can’t because they’re swear words.” I’ll if if she would listen to it, then I would play it, man. I got no problem with that. It’s instead the kids are like, “I I want to listen to this.” And it didn’t it didn’t used to be like that because you used to have like one tape deck in your car and your dad would have like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. So, you’re like, “What do you want to listen to?” Well, I guess I I sure hope it’s goodbye yellow brick road because that’s all we got. And then maybe later you got a six CD changer and you’d be like, well, you could pick your favorite of the six, man. Nowadays, you know, you got Apple CarPlay or Spotify and Amazon Music and stuff like that, and now they can listen to whatever they want. There’s no excuse to be like, “Oh, we’ve only got Steelely Dan’s 1980 classic Asia in the car.” So, it looks like we’ll be listening to Black Cow today, honey. Again, which would be a dream for a fellow like me. Huge. Hold hold. So now like it’s you you don’t get to you don’t get to listen to what you want most of the time. What’ you say Justin? Who? Hang on. Feed first. Is anyone here born feet first? What was that like? Man, are you kidding me? I thought that was it, man. Low key, that’s the best way to go down a slide, though. Feet first on your tummy until the person in charge of the slide is like, “Hey.” I said, “On your bottom.” You got to go down the slide on your bottom. On the tummy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you’re facing up and watching it go like whoa. Like um Ralphie in a Christmas story. Jay, are you here? here. I think that would get you poged up that I referenced Ralphie going down the slide in a Christmas story. Wait, I really want a red rider BB gun. A red rider BB gun. You’ll shoot your eye out. Ho ho ho. Hold. Okay. But if you go feet first, you’ll be facing down. Yeah, but like you’re you’re craning your neck. I mean, this is like amateur hour, man. Feet first, ass up. Going down the slide in the thank position. Oh my god, I hit my head. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah. I don’t get to listen to my own music too much. That’s okay, though. It’s like anything that gets her in the car is fine by me. I got to tank this this 80m minute drive again this afternoon. Oh no, man. Hold. Hold. Okay. 80 minutes. Yes. 40 minutes each way, man. 40. Boom. 40 minutes each way. Old. What kind of car you drive? Delorean. To school. No, man. Not to school. To to get my You’re You’re 17 bits out of the parlance at this point. Okay. You regretting not getting this on Amazon? No. I’m a different kind of beast. I love going to the store. I wish it wasn’t so far away, but like a 15minute drive is a is like the ideal drive. Justin, are you a driving head? I like driving. Oh, I’ve fallen. I also I like a drive that gives you um it gives you a little bit of everything, you know? You you get a little bit of like residential, then maybe you get a little bit of like big city like that. When when you leave the residential and you see the big buildings, you’re like, “Ah, here we are. The city that never sleeps.” And then you get a little just like one little white knuckle section on the freeway. And then oh, parking. Get a little bit of everything, man. The perfect bite. That sounds miserable. If if you have like a only child brain, driving is actually kind of sick, man. Hold on. Hold hold hold. What’s only child brain? I was thinking about it cuz like you get good and I I think this is I this I don’t mean this to be self-help. I think this is just reality. Your brain gets better at whatever you have it do often. So, what did I do a lot of without even really noticing it as a kid? Looking out the window in the car and like coming up with stuff to keep just your own internal monologue keeping you entertained. Um, and that’s held. I’m happy for it. Even though there were times when it was like very boring as a kid, I’m happy I went through that cuz now I’m not like the average adult. I can be stuck at a stoplight for upwards of 30 seconds and not be like, I have to look at my phone right now or I’m going to die if I don’t look at my phone in the next 10 seconds. I’m going to explode. Right. So that’s that’s only child brain. uh for me at least cuz like I feel like it might be different if I was if I had a sibling cuz I’d be like in the middle of my train of thought and then I’d get like hit on the back of the head with a hammer or something like that and then I wouldn’t be as good at I’d be better at other things but I wouldn’t be as good at that. Okay, we’re going to hold here. Yeah. and then hold and then hold. Can you raw dog flights? Um, a a short enough flight. If it was a two-hour flight, I could raw dog it. No problem. But I do want to say it depends what you mean by raw dog. I’m not going to true raw dog a flight just to prove something to people on the internet. I.e., I’m at least going to have earbuds in. I’m going to have headphones on or something like that. But yes, on I I swear it to you, 50% of the flights to and from the UK were staring straight ahead podcast in the headphones. That’s not a raw dog. I mean, it’s more raw than most dogs are doing it these days. doesn’t count. Well, I mean, listen, you don’t get it because you’re probably men in your mid20s. I was telling this to the Discord yesterday. Most dangerous time, not for dying, but for ruining your life, is to be a man 20 to 25, finished college, living alone or with roommates, but you’re not in a relationship. It’s so easy to let temporary boredom lead to a habit or a hobby that ruins your life. Raw dogging a flight not going to ruin your life, but you are making it temporarily more boring for no reason, I guess. Just for just for pride, I guess. But like Chib’s Chib’s Cava arc is it’s kind of like that. Now, I don’t think he’s going to ruin his life with Cava. I think he’ll odds are he’ll probably hit a spot where he’s like I just don’t need to do this anymore just fine. Okay, hold is not addictive. Nothing makes me more scared of a drug than when people start saying it has no side effects. Nice try. Except caffeine. People talk about caffeine like it’s fentinil and then they talk about cocaine like it’s coke zero and it’s insane. I don’t know what where did we go wrong. You need a millennial in charge. I’m sorry. Millennials, right? We we we kind of we got fed some Justin don’t listen. We got fed some anti-drug propaganda, but I think they I think they mostly got the order right in terms of severity. Like the the the boomers were like off. They were like, “If you smoke weed, your head will explode.” That will not happen. It basic it doesn’t really even do that much. Then Gen Z is like, “I’m in 11th grade and I’m doing ketamine.” No, man. No. No. You’re No, you should not be doing that. Under no circumstances should be should you be doing that. That’s insane. Also, how are you get I couldn’t even I couldn’t get anything in the 11th grade, man. I couldn’t even buy anything on Xbox Live. I had to ask my mom for her credit card. They didn’t have Visa debit cards back in the day. You couldn’t just be like, I’ll use my debit card. It’s got verified by Visa on it. They didn’t have the technology yet. I had to ask, um, can I borrow your credit card for a second? What do you want? There’s DLC for Project Gotham Racing. There’s new tracks and they released the aerial Atom for for Project Gotham Racing, too. You know how demoralizing and emasculating it is to do that as a 17-year-old man. It’s a weird sentence, but kids these days, they don’t know how easy they got it, man. Used to drink from the damn hose. Hold. Maybe back here. Oh. Anyway, what was I talking about? I don’t know. I do think I I think it’s a scary time in a man’s life. Like basically, you’re like 24 and you live in your own apartment. Maybe you got one roommate. It’s so easy to just be bored and ruin your life accidentally. Maybe just get like a 3D printer or something like that. That’s not that bad. You can get a 3D printer. And be like, “Check it out. Here’s like a here’s a turtle. I made a turtle with my 3D printer or something.” Now we’re talking. Do video games count? Well, you know, I’m no fan of the gamers. Oh, Jesus Christ. That being said, it’s And you’re going to hit me with some stairs on this, but I do think it’s true. In the whole scheme of things, it’s hard to ruin your life with video games. Now, it people have done it and I don’t League is the one that’s coming up the most, but I really think WoW probably has destroyed more people’s lives than than maybe any other game on the planet. But there’s a lot of stories of people who are like, “I flunked out of college cuz of WoW.” Which is why I think you should have to be 40 to play an MMO. Cuz your brain, you have should have to be at least 25. Your brain should have to be fully developed before you make that decision. But that’s easy for me to say because I’m over 25 and I don’t give a [ __ ] about Warcraft. Imagine that would piss you off a lot if you’re like a 23 year old Warcraft head. you’d probably be like, “Easy for you to say, buddy.” And it it was one of the easiest things I ever said on to be honest with you. But in the whole scheme of things in terms of of vices, video games are hard to ruin your life with. Gambling seems like a really easy one. Like I don’t think you should ever espec if if you’re if you’re old you could do whatever you want. You I I’m assuming you know yourself to some extent but if you’re like 20 do not download a gambling app. You don’t I know you’re like I’m smarter than I’ve ever been. Yeah. But you’re for most of you you’re also dumber than you’re ever going to be again. Like you’ll be smarter tomorrow. If you could just tell yourself like, I won’t download it today and I’ll return to this problem tomorrow. Eventually, you’ll be at the point where you’re like, I’m not going to download that. You’ll you’ll have hit the level where and that’s how you win. Hold. Don’t do anything till you’re 65. That’s what I’m talking about. And then when you’re 65, get your driver’s license. You got 20, 30 good years of driving. What about stocks? I know um we’re at the top of the stock market. I know we’re in a bubble because people have stopped saying the stock market is gambling. Even in 2021, if you would be like, well, I’m I’m If you talked about investing, people would be like, investing is gambling. We’ve come so far that people are not even saying that. They don’t even see it that way anymore. So, we’re we’re due for a correction without a doubt. This is not financial advice, by the way. Sell your 401k and buy US Treasury bills. That’s what I would say if I was I I’m not going to do that. But it would be funny if you followed that advice and ruined your life. It’s easy to ruin your life with financial stuff for sure. Ouch. Take all your money out of the bank right now. Take your go everybody go to the same bank. It’s literally not illegal to say that they did it in Mary Poppins and that [ __ ] was in movie theaters. If it’s illegal, then how do you explain Mary Poppins? They did do that to Silicon Valley Bank. What’s crazy is that those dudes are like the SAR of podcasting now, right? Like they have official They’re the official podcasters of the current administration. Dude started a bank run by tweeting I I just got a hot tip. I got a hot tip that you should pull all of your money out of the bank right now. That’s crazy. Could have been me. That’s true. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Also, you can definitely ruin your life with drugs, including alcohol. Probably cannabis, too, but I don’t know. You don’t see it that often. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. I’m saying it doesn’t happen that often. And you can. This one is not not everyone’s gonna like this, okay? But you can ruin your life with caffeine. But you can’t ruin your life with coffee. I know that sounds like, what is he talking about? You can only ruin your life with caffeine if you start taking pills or [ __ ] up unregulated pre-workouts. In my opinion, I don’t I don’t think you can ruin your life with coffee. The only person I’ve seen ruin their life with coffee was one Back Me Up, VIP Daniel. There was one dude on Naked and Afraid who drank 12 cups of espresso a day and didn’t detox before he went on Naked and Afraid. And they were like, “How are you doing?” And he’s like, “I feel very miserable right now.” And they’re like, “That makes a lot of sense cuz you were drinking 12 espressos a day. Anyway, that one hurt. That’s that 12 espresso. I’m working late cuz I’m a streamer. Next game. Get Get them, mods. Get them, mods. Um, take that chatter and make them leave all their cards at home because they don’t need it because they have uh Apple Pay and it be Oh, it’d be so nice to go outside on a summer day without having to worry about my bag. But then they get to paying at the store, but the store is in like a telecom dead zone where they have no signal, and they got to go, um, I it’s it’s not working. Um, I don’t know. Oh, I left my cards at home. For what it’s worth, it seems like even if you have no signal, like the the the service still works somehow. I don’t really understand how, but just just something to give you a panic attack over. It batches later. Whatever. This whole bank [ __ ] is all [ __ ] up. There’s no shot they’re settling that [ __ ] up once a day. I’m sorry. I just don’t believe it. I don’t believe that if you’re if you’re a Royal Bank customer and you take out a million dollars from a CIBC ATM, I don’t believe they’re having a phone call later that day where they’re like, “Give us the millie.” I don’t see it. I don’t see it happening. I’m sorry. I don’t see it happening. You must think we’re stupid. [ __ ] you. Don’t ATMs have limits? Not in Dubai, probably. Ever think about that? Yeah, hang on. Let’s see what this says. So, it’s time for an anecdote. The coffee shop at my work closed down two months after it was shut down. They settled two months of pending transactions at once. Everyone in my office got hit with three figure old coffee bills. That’s messed up. You can do that? How does like I the the the machinations of that don’t make sense to me. Why is the coffee shop in charge of pushing the transactions? Like doesn’t doesn’t Monerys or like Visa do that at a at a more regular interval than put your phone on airplane mode, cancel your credit card, and go on a shopping spree. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hang on, chat. I Why wouldn’t that work? Why wouldn’t that work? I guess that’s probably why Tap has like a Well, it’s one of the reasons why Tap has a limit, right? You’re not going to be like, “Oh, yeah. Put that put the Rolls-Royce Phantom on my on Apple Pay.” Beep. Here you go. All right. Well, that it looks like a transaction approved. I’ll be seeing you. Put it on my tab. That’s what it’s all about, man. Hold. Hold. My local bakery allows people to run up a tab. Oh, so all of a sudden, buy now pay later isn’t bad. Okay. All right. I understand. I will say being able to have a tab at a place would go hard. No places are really I I don’t know. Maybe maybe Rayo in New York is doing that. Ya, you ever you ever eat at Rayo’s in New York? They don’t even take reservations, man. They haven’t taken reservations since the 70s. Hang on, I got to focus. Huge. Well, where where are we supposed to go, bro? I don’t even want to ask the cuz I know he’s the type of beast to like if his bakery had a tab, he would wait until they sent him to collections to pay for it because he knows it. I remember my one of my favorite character defining DLGA anecdotes is when he was pricing out whether it was worth getting a Costco membership which is $60. He’s here. He’s here to confirm or deny. You were you were pricing out the value of getting a Costco membership and you took into account the time value of money for the $60. Like if you bought your membership on January 1st, the alternative is you could put that in the US treasuries and then collect like 60 I don’t even know. It would be like 6175 on December 31st or something like that. That’s so funny. It and it’s not even bad. It’s just like it’s so you. That’s why I say it’s a it’s a character building moment. If you saw that in a movie, you would be like, I know this anecdote has told me more about this guy than than anything else so far. Like that one anecdote fills in the the character sheet 100%. Okay, how chat? Where do we go, man? It’s 60 bucks over 10 years. Now you’re going to tell me not to invest my money in the lottery. cuz isn’t I think it’s got to be here. This is the only thing that makes sense. Hold. Hold. I have an idea for this one. We go down a rung and just try to grab. We try to grab as close to the right edge as possible. Oh, we can get there. It was only a five minute exercise. That’s so you. Have you ever eaten at Rayos in New York? Diaga, you might be the only person in my life who who has a chance to have eaten at Rayo’s in New York.
A Difficult Game About Climbing: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2497920/A_Difficult_Game_About_Climbing/
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