POSTMORTEM: Attack on Titan CRINGE DLC for Assassin’s Creed Shadows causes Ubisoft to PULL THE PLUG
I’m pretty tough, huh? You’re both just awful. What’s up, space pirates? This is your admiral, the boundlessly boisterous Dr. Disaster. And for all the people out there who have refused to believe that Assassin’s Creed Shadows was a flop, I want to thank you for what you’ve gifted me. I find unlimited amusement in saying, “Oh, look, an idiot. Let’s point and laugh.” And as further evidence of the game’s utter failure, look no further than the reception to this Attack on Titan DLC that just dropped for Assassin’s Creed Shadows. I have literally found zero people thus far who thinks that this DLC was well done. Everyone who has played it or even just seen it has commented on social media about how absolutely cringy the writing is, the artwork is, it all feels completely phoned in. In fact, it is so bad Ubisoft is now so damned embarrassed about the shoddy product that they have released that they have begun copyright claiming videos that show their work over on X. This is so humiliating. I have another cringy clip that we are going to take a look at though from this DLC which shows off probably the worst writing in a video game that has come out this year and is almost certainly a contender for worst clip of all time from a video game. So, brace yourself because if you haven’t seen this one yet, you’re in for some childish awful crap. If you knew what was in store for you here, you’d likely be going, “Oh shit.” And with all of this in mind, I amused to point this out right here, more proof that Assassin’s Creed Shadows was in fact a bonafide flop. It was just revealed that Ubisoft is not planning any more DLC expansions on Assassin’s Creed Shadows, which is an extremely bad sign for a high-profile game like this, where in the past, Ubisoft almost always has two or even three major DLC expansions that they put out for their Assassin’s Creed games. Nearly all of its predecessors has had multiple massive expansions, and it is quite difficult to see this news pop up at this time and think that it doesn’t have anything to do with the terrible reception to the Attack on Titan content. I quit. I quit. Well, thank you. I needed to hear that. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] All right, me hardies. Make sure that you hit the like button on this video. Share it with your friends and subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they have been unwillingly unsubscribed to the channel. Almost every day I hear from someone who says they didn’t believe me when I talked about this phenomenon, but then they noticed that they themselves were unsubed from the channel. I don’t know why it happens, but I do hear it a lot. So, look into that. I will be making this portion of my video skippable by making it into a chapter on the video timeline, but I do need to keep saying this because the amount of people telling me that it happens to them is unbelievable. Anyhow, let’s first take a look at this ridiculously cringy clip from the Attack on Titan DLC, which when I saw this turd of a clip, I literally had to take about a 30inut break from the internet afterwards to reorient myself since it was so jarringly bad. I want you to brace yourself because it is some pretty quintessential millennial writing, meaning childish and unserious, unwilling to be anything but an insincere and cheap faximile of the real world. Whenever someone asks why it is that I say that this sort of writing in the past decade or so has gone down the tube, this will be used as one of the top examples of what I’m talking about. It looks like it belongs in a children’s cartoon. But without further ado, let’s take a look at this extremely cringy crap. I’m pretty tough, huh? I am. Ooh, they’re pretty close. Kenu jealous. No, please don’t kiss her. What? You weren’t What? No. Never. And I know I could never steal you away from Kinu. Say that again and we’ll have to do it for real. What the hell was that? All right, so once you’ve picked your jaw up off the floor and gotten a hold of yourself again, let me just point out a little mental exercise that I did with that scene in mind. What I did was mentally transformed each of the characters into a childish stuffed animal type character meant for a little 5-year-old or something. And I asked myself if this writing would have been out of place in that setting. And the answer is that it would translate perfectly into a childish cartoon like that. The romantic stuff that they’re trying to inject into the story has all the emotional depth and maturity of a preschooler’s cartoon show. And I’m being literal. That isn’t just an insult. though. I hope that the writers of this [ __ ] are actually insulted with how much people can’t stand this DLC. And now the other day, because Ubisoft is a stupid company who has no idea how to relate to normal people, they talked about their DLC and how this sort of [ __ ] is paid for. They defended microtransactions, telling us that this is how they fund garbage like what we saw with this Attack on Titan DLC. And I think I speak for everyone when I say my dudes, keep your DLC and get rid of the microtransactions and your games will benefit from addition by subtraction. I mean, Ubisoft’s claim here is like saying, “The only reason I was able to bludgeon you was because I stole this blunt object from you. Aren’t you grateful that I stole from you now? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to bludgeon you.” And of course, nobody is grateful for any of this garbage that Ubisoft produces. Let me point out that this Attack on Titan DLC has been out for a few days now. And despite the high-profile nature of that anime and of course the high-profile nature of the IP, the Assassin’s Creed IP, at least on Steam, Shadows has not seen any sort of spike in their player count at all. the game is just dead, at least on that platform. And I very sincerely doubt that it’s any different on PlayStation or Xbox. And with all of that in mind, this news here is utterly unsurprising. This article comes from IGN. It reads, “Ububisoft has confirmed it no longer plans to launch a second major Assassin’s Creed Shadows expansion, something that previously would have formed part of the game’s now abandoned season pass. Shadows’ first and now it seems only major expansion launched in September. The 10-hour Claws of Aaji had previously been described as the first expansion included in Shadows’ season pass, an offer that was formally scrapped a year ago when Ubisoft delayed the game’s launch from November of 2024 to February of 25. As an apology to fans for the game’s delay, Ubisoft said it instead would gift Claws of Aaji for free to all pre-order customers. But fans still assumed a second expansion would follow at some point as has become custom for every other major Assassin’s Creed title over the past decade. As Grums said on X responding to this article, “So much for the game did awesome, you chuds. No second expansion, no more investment. Stick a fork in it. Assassin’s Creed Shadows is done.” And he’s right. Of course, a project like Shadows is not abandoned lightly. They have tried outrageously hard to paint the picture that Shadows has been a major success. They’ve obiscated their sales numbers and we all know the reason why. the fact that a Japanese Assassin’s Creed game, which fans have been asking for since the franchise came out about two decades ago, that should have been a slam dunk, easy ass layup of a game, it should have been one of the biggest sellers of all time from this company, but instead they’ve sold something in the neighborhood of 4 million copies in 2/3 of a year by now. And considering the ludicrous amount of money that they spent on developing this game, they are on pace to lose well into 9 figures on this game. And based on the shoddy work that they are willing to release as a company here, this is very welld deserved. All of this loss of money. But I’m going to leave it there. Ubisoft is a bloody awful company who’s obviously perfectly okay with releasing slob. What do you make of this decision not to release any more expansions for the game? And what did you think of that Attack on Titan clip that I showed you? Drop your thoughts into the comment section below and we will talk there. Thanks for watching me hardies. If you haven’t already, your admiral is inviting you to subscribe to the channel and become a part of the crew. Life as a space pirate may not be glamorous, but there’s always plenty of booty.
The DLC for Attack on Titan has been extremely poorly received, and now we are hearing news that Ubisoft is no longer planning to put any more expansions for the game. Assassin’s Creed Shadows is a DEAD PROJECT.
IGN article: https://www.ign.com/articles/ubisoft-no-longer-plans-to-release-a-second-assassins-creed-shadows-expansion
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3:59 Time to admit it, shills… Shadows is a bone fide FLOP